Internal barriers holding women back from success: A Reluctance to Ask for More š¢
The wage gap, the glass ceiling ā Addressing inequalities from an internal perspective šµ
The articles, blogs, and reports are all out there, the workplace isnāt fair. Women earn less, are underrepresented, and hold fewer leadership positions. There is so much data out there addressing the lack of female representation from multiple barriers on a social and institutional level.
But no matter how big these external setbacks are, in my opinion, the biggest, and most common barrier women face is from within. Tendencies to hide their ambition, indulge in self-doubt, and the constant pursuit of perfection.
Today, I hope to focus more on the internal barriers that are holding women back just as much as any external barriersā¦
Asking for more: the Wage Gap šø
Women often hesitate when asking for more, whether itās salaries or promotions, we seem to have this tendency of āhidingā or downplaying our āambitionā. This trait is especially prominent when weāre talking about negotiating a higher salary. Often they are either socially conditioned to accept the first offer or the company culture communicates that message. All added together with self-doubt and an undervaluation of their value, women risk earning less than they deserve because they donāt ask.
There is an interesting study I found in the Harvard Business Review. The starting salaries for male MBAs were around $4,000 higher than those of their female counterparts all graduating from the same program. Many of the women or 93% didnāt negotiate and just accepted the initial salary value.
In another study, participants were paid $3 to $10 for playing a word game. After the game, the experimenter would ask āHereās $3. Is $3 ok?ā, the menās requests for more money exceeded the womenās by 9 to 1. There is also other research concerning how women show their willingness to work for a lower salary compared to men.
Thereās plenty of advice telling us to demand more, to get what we deserve. So why is this stubborn gender pay gap still here?
Well, there are several reasons why women might be less likely to negotiateā¦
- Taught from childhood to help others, and not promote our interests (might not even be aware of this internal behavior)
- Assuming youāll just be recognized for your work, and your position and pay is a reflection of your efforts. (Forgetting that you can ask for more.)
- Company cultures or an assumption of company cultures that you will be mislabelled and penalized if you ask for more. Fear of being labeled as dramatic, pushy, and not a team player. (A possible product of ingrained societal expectations.)
An interesting study says that just by having the employer stating that salaries are negotiable, the gender gap closes. So maybe we simply donāt have the notion of negotiation! Read more here.
How to Negotiate Salaries: Strategies and Tips š¤
The following is an amalgamation of a variety of articles, posts, and books including some advice that Iāve received. With my limited career experience, I might not be the perfect person for advice on this but even with my limited experience, I want to show you guys what Iāve gathered.
Before the Negotiations š§¾
Make sure you have your research done
- Market research: know the salary range in your area and consult multiple sources
- Minimum acceptable salary: knowing whatās the absolute minimum you need to avoid living in the red, calculating your budget and living costs
- Self-evaluation: figuring out where you fit in the pay range, what you aiming for, analyzing your experiences, qualifications, and skillsets
- Anticipated Salary range: If not listed in the posting, inquire about the salary range for the job before getting an offer so youāre not wasting time
NEVER EVERā¦ ā
Do not name a salary first!
- Itās a situation you canāt win, either you name a number too high and can be labeled as unreasonable, or too low which means you get underpaid.
- Instead, you could speak about how the salary helps give you information about the company and help better evaluate your offers. Offer them some time to think it over and show them how youāre valued and in demand.
No saying yes to the first offer!
- At this point, itās common to not want to seem difficult or to offend, but often thereās room to negotiate. The first offer is a starting point.
Salary non-negotiable š¢
If the salary is based on metrics:
- Consider negotiating for other options like stock, demonstrating that you understand their restrictions, and you truly do want to work here but you want this offer to be commensurate with your other offers.
Missed Opportunities over Self Doubt š¤·āāļø
Negotiating wages is a common example of how we donāt ask for more, but itās not the only instance. Women are shown to take less āriskā when applying for jobs and promotions. It seems like there might be a lot of missed opportunities hereā¦
Not a perfect fit šÆ
An internal report by Hewlett Packard found that women only applied for promotions when they felt they met 100% of the requirements, yet their male counterparts applied with only 60% of the qualifications met.
Weāve come a long way in workplace gender equality, but it still seems likeā¦
The higher women climb the higher the chance of being held back in their careers
With women being 21% less likely to make it to the first level of management.
There are many intertwining factors in this subject such as family responsibilities and systemic biases, but here are a few internal reasons why women might be holding themselves backā¦
They donāt let their superiors know. I feel like we can be conditioned to expect that if we simply work hard, people will automatically notice and voila the rewards will come on their own!
Yet, promotions donāt drop from the sky.
Often, you need to ask for them.
Many people wait until theyāre 100% qualified before heading to a promotion, but a situation may never be perfect. Throughout my life Iāve met a lot of people that constantly strive for perfection (maybe even myself as well), but insisting on perfection makes it much more difficult to accomplish things. If you constantly have to achieve perfection to advance, then your career is gonna be put on hold a lot. Not everyone is 100% qualified before getting promoted.
Hereās a cool article on asking for promotions.
Another reason might be due to women doing less self-promotion. Women are shown to rate their performance as lower than men with the same score. This is reflected in applying for jobs, demanding raises, or even expressing ideas in meetings that could hold back career advancement. Is this due to an issue with confidence and societal norms?
In my experience, Iāve constantly struggled with self-promotion. I used to feel like it was a type of bragging and I shielded away from it (in fact I still do sometimes). Iām often told that I should do more self-promotion and have a more āextrovertedā personality but I struggle with the fear of coming off as egotistical or prideful. Nevertheless, itās still something Iām currently working on and taking strides towards!
The Glass Ceiling: Qualifications š»
Looking at the womenās leadership gap, there is no shortage of staggering statistics. Women comprise 3% of CEO positions and 19.5% of the board members for the top 500 of Canadaās companies. It seems the higher up you go the less diversity and the more underrepresentation occurs.
Yet, weāve been shown how diversity in the workplace can provide a 15% revenue increase, a higher return on investment, and help build a reputation/brand. So why is there still such a huge disparity?
Well temporarily setting aside the systemic faults of a workplace inappropriately designed for diversity, a very stubborn barrier women face is from within ā our self-doubt.
Imposter Syndrome š¦
Oftentimes women can be just as qualified as our counterparts but weāre held back ā by ourselves. Research has shown how women underestimate their abilities and worth, believing theyāll do worse on tests, or that theyāre not ready for promotions. One phenomenon is called the imposter syndrome and itās not faced by women alone. Almost 70% of people face this phenomenon and it applies to anyone āwho isnāt able to internalize and own their successesā.
There are a few common patterns with this syndrome:
- Perfectionists ā set unrealistically high standards, and feel like a failure when they canāt meet them
- Experts ā need to know everything and have all the qualifications, afraid of being considered dumb when they donāt know something
- Natural genius ā accustomed to easily learning skills, when they struggle with a skill they label themselves as not good enough
- Soloists ā insist on completing tasks by themselves without any help, in fear of seeming incompetent
- Supermen/women ā aim to excel at everything they do, gets stressed/worried when they arenāt achieving
You can take the impostor syndrome test here.
Self-awareness ā a solution? š§āāļø
I believe self-awareness might be the key here to breaking this cycle. You need to be aware of your thoughts in order to stop them and put them into perspective. After allā¦
Only when you acknowledge your own value, will others acknowledge it as well.
Often people believe that their own success is only due to luck, but if you have the ambition to move up the ladder you need to believe in your own success. Instead of lapsing into self-doubt and letting it cloud your decisions.
In my experience, in speeches or conferences we tend to focus on external barriers stopping our success. Now, weāre at a point where we need to address the internal barriers just as much, so we work on actively breaking them down.
An internal obstruction can be much more damaging than an external one!
Sources š
Cool stuff written by people who know their stuff ā
Resilience by Lisa Lisson (Covers a lot of things, including salary negotiation, management, promotions, ownership mentality, and especially navigating loss)
Nice Girls Donāt Ask ā Harvard Business Review
Most Common Challenges Women Face in Negotiations
Stating that salaries are negotiable ā closes the wage gap
A cool article on negotiating salaries
Women donāt apply unless 100% qualified
Men hired on potential, women on their track record
Takeawaysš
- An internal obstruction can be much more damaging than an external one!
- Negotiate a higher salary, know your worth
- Take the risk and apply, you donāt always have to be a perfect fit
- You canāt always expect that if we simply work hard, people will automatically notice and the rewards would come on their own
- Donāt wait until youāre 100% qualified before heading to a promotion
